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Best running jokes

February 25, 2019
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running jokes

Below are a number of the best running jokes that I was able to compile from different places on the internet:

Running jokes

The truth is you can always go faster, but sometimes the truth hurts.


Two Hunters: Two hunters are walking through a forest looking for deer when all of a sudden, a giant bear jumps out and scares them. They drop their guns and run. One of the hunters stopped, opened up his backpack and laced up a pair of running shoes. His buddy looked at him and said, "What are you doing? Are you crazy? You can't outsprint the bear!" To this, the hunter said, "I know, all I have to do is outsprint you!"


The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.


An Olympic champion was on his way to a club with some friends. At the door, the bouncer turned to him and said: "Sorry, man, you can't come in here "no denim." The runner was quite annoyed at this and retorted: "Don't you know who I am? I'm an Olympic champion."

"Then it won't take you long to sprint home and change, will it?" replied the bouncer.

If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.


I like going for training at night because the added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio.


Q: Did you hear about the marathon runner who ran for three hours but only moved two feet?

A: He only had two feet!


A man who runs behind a car will get EXHAUSTED, but a man who runs in front of a car will get TIRED.


Q: Why was the girl jogging backwards?

A: She wanted to gain weight!


Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.


Run early in the morning, before your brain figures out what you are doing.


We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by


Bad weather always looks worse through a window.


It's not bragging when I tell you how many miles I ran today. It's so you don't judge when I devour the whole bag of chips.


The Tortoise and the Hare story makes sense now. One of them took time to memorize the map.

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